“Baby, I know you’ve got all those crazy, lofty goals, going to art school and following your dreams an whatnot.
Blah blah blah… just throw it to the side. You know I can support us all on my own and worst case, I’ll just have to sell some drugs to my little brother’s friends.
If you do have to sell your body, once, or twice, or seven times, it’ll be worth it. And trust me, one day my band is gonna make it and this will all be just a distant, distant, dream…
Until the earth’s removed!
Or daddy don’t approve!
Whatever happens first!
Depending on my mood!
You gave your love to me,
and now you are my property”
-Say Anything (again)
When someone says my boyfriend or my girlfriend, what do they actually mean?
What about that person is yours?
A relationship (I’d think) should be based on a deep-felt connection, of two minds, who happen to compliment each other in a unique way. I’m talking about love, though I hate to use the word because it is so loaded with preconceptions that to even bring it up can lessen the chance of what I’m saying being understood.
Person: “When I say my girlfriend, I don’t mean she’s literally mine. It’s just a way of expressing that we are in love, or at least are in a serious relationship. That we share ourselves with each other, connect.”
Amazing. Perfect. So why the proprietary terminology? Why say “my boyfriend”. I know, I know, you didn’t invent the language, but I think that this is something we should take a closer look at because the way we use language affects the way we view the world around us and the things in it.
People might argue against me on this, but I think generally when most people claim a person as their ‘partner’, they are claiming exclusive sexual rights to that persons body. At least, that’s the biggest thing. Emotional lapses can be forgiven, but CHEATING on someone, having sex with any other person, even once, is a huge deal. It means either they made a ‘mistake’, or they don’t really love you, and it’s time to leave. That’s quite an assumption.
I mean, cheating is usually a marraige ender, right? Why?
And then there’s marraige. A legal contract to love someone for the rest of your life. I can’t think of anything less romantic than putting my name on a LEGAL CONTRACT tying myself to another person for life (or until divorce). It’s so cold and sterile.
I know for most people it’s not about the contract, or the legal aspects, it’s about openly declaring your love for each other with a big ceremony, and making a lifelong commitment, and that’s something I just have to say I just don’t get. I don’t get the public ceremony thing at all. If I want to declare my love for someone, that’s a personal thing between me and him. To put it on display almost cheapens it.
It’s like the episode of the office where Pam and Jim get married. I know it’s hyperbole, but the whole office shows up at their wedding, and the day turns out to be more about the event and the other people than it is about Pam and Jim. So they sneak off, and have this romantic boat-ride ceremony that Jim conveniently had preplanned… whatever, it’s a tv show. What I’m saying is that marraige and monogamy are two social institutions that we kind of take for granted as things that are beneficial.
I’m just saying maybe they aren’t, at least, not all the time.
I’ve never been in love, so call me naive, but I think if I was, really was, there’s no way I’d want to hold that person back, in any way.
